


The Great Divide Chapter 11: Until the End

by Antigravity_Carnivore



Series: The Great Divide [11]
Category: Breaking Benjamin (Band), STARSET (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Band Fic, Computers, F.E.C., Future Fic, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Homosexuality, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 11:22:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11622513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antigravity_Carnivore/pseuds/Antigravity_Carnivore
Summary: The safety of the Shallow Bay is a temporary shelter for Brock and Dustin as they take some time to rest and recover after the slaughter of the Messengers, however, Thomas Bell offers them a chance to rescue Benjamin. Will they risk becoming pawns in his game to bring him back?





	The Great Divide Chapter 11: Until the End

Brock came out of the bathroom, straightening up his shirt and handing me my bow tie. “You know you don’t have to keep wearing this thing.” He said, tossing it onto the bed. “I know you’re against wearing a uniform of any type but there are other clothing options here. I don’t see why you need to continue to go for the casual tuxedo.”

 

“I suppose it’s part of me now. Being without it makes me feel naked.” I smiled at Brock and he shrugged, and finished getting dressed. It was early morning, one week after we arrived at The Shallow Bay. I had spent two days in the infirmary, drifting in and out of consciousness and fighting a raging fever, after our escape from the Messengers home base. At first, I protested even an hour of bed rest, but Brock insisted, and my body readily agreed. After witnessing his gruesome death, I wasn’t up for arguing with him in any way. I wanted him with me in the worst way, he was all I could think about. He stayed at my bedside for the two days and then suggested to the doctors that the rest of my recuperation time be spent in private quarters, which I was very thankful for. It was wonderful spending time with him. He made sure that I was well taken care of; everything that I needed was brought to me. During the day, we’d spent hours sitting and talking about some of the past shows and recalling fond memories of our brief time as rock stars. It made me a little sad to think that these days were now long gone, but he reassured me that they were treasured memories that would never be forgotten. After hours, he would sneak into the kitchen and make us each a delicious dinner, full of comfort food that we were used to eating, and then snuggle up in bed next to me, reading to me from some boring communications manual until I fell asleep. He’d be there in the morning when I woke up, ready with a breakfast tray and that wonderful smile. Life felt normal.

 

Today I was going to meet the Commander of the Shallow Bay, and decide on the best course of action to recover and rescue Benjamin. It was difficult not to think about Ben all the time, but somehow I managed to make it through. Brock’s presence was a great help to me, he gave me everything I needed and took care of me like no one else ever had. There was a tenderness to him that was missing from my life, with him at my side; I realized that I was happy. Real happiness. I needed closure, one way or another. I stood up from the bed and walked over to the mirror, and Brock came to stand behind me as I gazed at my reflection. I already didn’t recognize the man that was looking back at me. I had been through so much, WE had been through so much, and were slowly becoming different people. It was extremely difficult for me to accept change, but I knew it had to come eventually. All I wanted, all this time is a life with Benjamin; I could think of nothing else. I threw everything away to be with him, and now I could finally see the things which were truly important to me. I wasted half my life pursuing something I could never have. I almost missed out on a life.

 

Brock slipped his arms around my waist from behind, and rested his head on my shoulder. “Are you going to be okay to do this?” he asked. “It’s not your responsibility.”

 

“Yes I think so. I keep thinking, how they were going to slowly torture Ben, day after day, and I know that I can’t leave him out there, all on his own. I want to be part of the rescue. I owe him that much.”

 

“You know it’s not your fault, Dustin.” Brock whispered. “Thomas is the one who put him in danger, with his fanatical obsession, not you.”

 

My bow-tie was crooked and uneven, I tried to straighten it up, but my fingers were shaking. “I know, but I can’t think of ever walking away and abandoning him. Can you think about how horrible it must be, chained up in a cell there, cold, blind and alone?” I shivered and felt Brock pull me close. “I owe him so much, he found me when I was out there lost, now it’s my turn to find him.”

 

He kissed the side of my neck. “He didn’t find you. I did, don’t forget that.” I couldn’t read the expression on Brock’s face, but his voice sounded stern. Part of him changing was that he was now capable of not showing any emotions in his facial expressions; it was a change that I didn’t like. Something either had to be very good or very bad for him to react to it. It frightened me. He slid his hand up over my shoulder and pulled at the corner of the silk tie. “Your bow tie is crooked.” He said, flatly.

 

“I know. I seem to be having some difficulty.” I turned around to face him; he was so young and beautiful. Even with all the hardships and atrocities he had to sit through every day at the F.E.C. and watch them inflict on people, there was still a calm, gentleness to him. “Can you help me?”

 

Brock’s eyes met mine as his fingers pinched the edge of the tie and gave it a little tug, the knot untied and the ends fell open, draping over the edges of the shirt. Not saying a word, he then flicked open the top button of the collar, exposing my neck, and pushed the starched, stiff material back. Stepping in close, he bought his lips in to the sensitive flesh and kissed the front of my throat. A soft moan escaped my lips as I leaned back against the mirror and he went down the front of my shirt with those delicate fingers, sliding each button back through the perfectly stitched button holes. Pushing it open, he reached out and touched each one of the healing wounds that the claw of the Carnivore had punctured into my chest, then let his hands slide up to my shoulders and pull the shirt down. “This…” he whispered. “Will never happen again.”

 

I closed my eyes and spoke quietly. “Which one are you talking about? Being ripped apart by those Monsters, or being here in your arms, which one will never happen again?”

 

He tilted his head to the side, angling his body as well so that one of his legs were between mine, and leaned forward, bringing those soft lips onto mine. I could feel the heat from his skin. “Whichever one is the one which brings you the most sorrow and pain, I will take it away. I will take it all away from you. I want you to be happy Dustin…with yourself, with me. Let me be the part of your life that was missing, you will never have to search for home again.”

 

I reached out for him, guiding his body closer. There was no hesitation. There was a moment of pure innocence and serenity between us. It felt like the first time he told me that he loved me, we were both feeling the same emotions wash over us. The memories from a lifetime away all came flooding back, and they were good ones. I wanted him so badly, but differently than before. No longer was I feeling the need to possess him, prove myself to him, but instead I wanted to belong to him. Everything was leading up to this moment. This would change things. If I could go through with it. I had to make the right decision, is this really what I wanted? “Brock?”

 

“Yes, Dustin?”

 

I put my hand on his chest. “Wait.” He looked at me curiously. I thought for a moment he was going to turn away, but he remained, standing still, so close to me that it physically hurt. He looked down to my hand and I finally got to see the expression on his face change for the first time in a while. His eyes welled up with tears as his eyes came to rest on that single band of metal on my finger, the wedding ring. Ben’s wedding ring. His gaze remained fixed on it, as his tears trickled down over his cheek and were absorbed by his shirt. The seconds passed by and neither of moved or spoke. We were both caught up in our own thoughts. Then finally, after some time, he took a deep breath, wiped at his tears and started to pull away. “Wait, Brock.” I whispered again.

 

He stopped and shook his head. “Why do you always keep doing this? It’s maddening! That’s it, I’m done Dustin, I can’t do this again. I’ve stayed silent and not said a word about this before, but now I have to! Every single time I think we are doing well, that I’ve finally connected with you…you find a way to bring him into it. That feeling, it’s maddening. I can’t put myself through it anymore.” Looking away, he started to move and I stopped him with a firm pull back towards me. I wasn’t going to let him walk away this time. I had no idea what I was doing. He was right, it wasn’t fair. The emotions that I felt when he was dying in my arms all came flooding back to me and I was engulfed with them, my heart drowning. I knew what I had to do. There was no other choice. With my right hand, I reached up and slipped the ring off, holding it in my hand for a moment and then dropped it. He gave me a relieved, but anxious look. It clattered to the floor and then rolled off somewhere. I didn’t bother looking down at it. I couldn’t, that was part of my life being discarded. “Are you sure you can do this?” he asked.

 

“Yes.” I nodded confidently. I touched his cheek for a moment. “Are you sure YOU can do this?” I asked in return. I was hoping he knew what I was asking of him. In reply, Brock grabbed me by the shoulders again, pulling me into a passionate, desperate embrace and devoured my lips with a kiss that left my body aching, begging, and crying out for more. I felt a shift in power, I was no longer in control, he was, and it felt wonderful. Brock had changed, I had changed. Is this what I had been missing, the final piece of the puzzle that I could never find, which would bring the whole thing together?

 

“We are going to be late for that meeting.” I whispered against his lips.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

Sometime later we walked down the corridor, led by two uniformed soldiers, who were incredibly unhappy with the delay in their duties, to the meeting room where we would meet the leader of the Shallow Bay. Brock’s hand would casually brush against mine and it gave me a sense of peace. We didn’t have to say a word to one another, it wasn’t needed. We both left the room feeling united and a great sense of relief. I casually glanced over to his face, and I could tell that for the most part, that he was happy, but there was something else there, a worry lurking just underneath the surface that was troubling him. I wanted to ask him what it was, but I would have to wait. This wasn’t the place or the time.

 

The facility was well kept, in almost pristine condition, with high security and protocols in place. The soldiers explained that they liked to be referred to as Rebels, instead of Messengers; each of the bases that had been set up had their own unique identities and objectives, working individually so that if one was compromised, the others would not be. They were amazed at Brock’s ability to find and locate the Shallow Bay, when it was well concealed. Brock laughed at this and gave them a humble explanation that wouldn’t undermine the faith in their security. The guards led us to the meeting room and showed us inside. It was an empty room, with no windows or furniture except for a large table in the center of the room, lined with LED monitors and uncomfortable looking chairs. We were instructed to take a seat and wait for the Commander to arrive. Brock sat down first, swiping his fingers across the in desk monitors and browsing through the list of files available. I walked around the room, pacing, wishing that there was a window; it would be nice to have something organic to look at. The room made me feel very uncomfortable and claustrophobic. Brock noticed me pacing and called to me from across the room, not bothering to look up from his monitor, I got a strange distant feeling from him. “Feeling nervous?” He asked.

 

I shook my head and wrung my hands “Not nervous, anxious. I am worried about this mission… maybe… we should just forget about…” I stopped, realizing that Brock had ceased typing and was looking over at me, expectantly. 

 

“We should just forget what Dustin? Finish your sentence. Say it and we can walk right out that door. ” I looked over at him and saw such a look of approval there on his face, it was desperate and serious. I knew that was exactly what he wanted, but something else was holding him back. 

 

Before I could respond the doors slid open and the two rebels we walked down the hall with re-entered the room, and took their positions on either side of the door, and then it opened a second time, and Thomas Bell walked in, dressed in the standard dress of a high ranking officer. I immediately took a step towards him and felt Brock grab hold of my wrist. He knew I was going for him before I even made a move. “Dustin, please. Just sit down. Take a breath. Let’s do this calmly.”

 

The serenity that I had enveloped myself in suddenly fell apart. This is what Brock had been worried about. This was his little secret, it had to be. “No… what the fucking hell is this? Is this some kind of joke?” I looked over at Brock. “Get him out of here! He's a murderer and a traitor, and now you're telling me that he's in charge here? No! I can’t accept this! What the fuck! Is this serious? Brock, did you know about this?” I snapped at him accusingly.

 

Thomas spoke up, preventing Brock from speaking; I could tell it annoyed him. “Yes Dustin, Brock knew of my ascension to the position of Commander of the Shallow Bay.” Thomas made his way around the table and sat down, taking a seat at the head of the table, getting as far away from me as possible. “As a matter of fact, he’s being quite instrumental in helping me get the position with his invaluable assistance with the psychological scanning and tests that I was subjected to, while you recuperated during this last week. We wanted to be very sure that there was no trace of the F.E.C.'s influence before I assumed the position.”

 

Brock sat forward and chimed in. “There is absolutely no evidence of anything that would link him to the F.E.C. Every possible test was run, and everything came back clear. The only side effects that we have discovered so far are some random memory loss and confusion. Other than that, he’s quite fit to be in charge again. I was just as shocked as you are about immediately putting him in a position of power, but the previous Commander of the Shallow Bay disappeared a few weeks ago, which is why the patrols that found us were out in that sector. It seemed like the logical thing to do, to have Thomas step in and take control over things. Dustin, these people need a leader, he can help them.”

 

“Help them? Like he helped Ben, Lizzie and the 50 others that trusted him? No. I can’t trust him, I won’t trust him. Thomas you are nothing but a traitor and goddam liar. I have half a mind to jump across this table and finish off what I started. You’re only here because Brock wanted to see if he could reverse the effects of the visor, you’re nothing more than a guinea pig, so don’t think that I am going to listen to a single thing that you have to say.” 

 

Brock shook his head and sighed. “Do we need to keep going over this? That wasn't Thomas and you know that. Can't you please just accept the fact that the person you are chasing after is dead and gone? Give Thomas, the real Thomas a chance, he wants to help you. Remember how you felt when the Monster had control over you? You were nothing more than a helpless puppet to it, he went through the same thing, and if anyone could help him understand and deal with it, it’s you. He needs people on his side right now, not enemies. Lizzie asked you to do this… hear him out, that's all I ask.” He reached out and placed his hand over mine. “Please.” I immediately let go of some of the anger. 

 

“Fine. I'll hear you out, but that's all.”

 

Thomas attempted to give me a warm smile. I glared at him. No matter what Brock said, I still saw the traitor and killer in him. “Thank you Dustin. Now, light of recent events, I am going to save you all the formalities and bullshit and cut right to the chase.” He leaned in and rested his elbows on the table. “With Brock's help, we were able to intercept some of the F.E.C. Radio transmissions that have been broadcast over a low range frequency with the tightest security these last few days. Up until this point, it's been almost radio silence on every front. We don't know why the communications went dark on their end, but we did manage to get a few snippets of them initiating something called 'The Eden Project.'”

 

I thought back to the moments when Brock and I were alone in the cave outside of the Messengers base, he had mentioned something of that name as well. How did he know? I knew that whatever it was, it couldn't be good. “So, what's this got to do with me? I am no soldier or spy. Whatever it is that you are looking for, I can't help you with. I want nothing to do with any of this. Sorry to waste your time.” Pushing my chair back, I stood up and headed over to the door, keeping my back turned to them.

 

“Dustin, we know where Benjamin is.” Slowly turning, I looked over my shoulder at Thomas. “Whatever the Eden project is, he is a crucial element in its success. His name has been all over the radio chatter when we could pick signals up, that is. We believe that in the next two days, he is going to be transferred out of a holding facility and taken to the main F.E.C. Headquarters as the Eden project goes into full gear. Something has happened within their organization that has tripled their productivity and experimenting, and we aren't sure what it is. Somehow, they gained a vast amount of knowledge in a very short period of time, almost over night, sending their engineering into a massive frenzy of production. Every day, they are managing to develop some new type of weapon, or bio engineer a new strain of disease to throw at us to wipe us out, and all life off this planet. We have to stop it, we’re losing the war.”

 

The book. The Prox Transmissions. It had to be. Crystal…or whoever she was turned the manuscript into the F.E.C. and they were using my ideas. Every new invention, new research was because of me. I couldn’t tell them that, I didn’t want to be held responsible. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. Benjamin was still alive, there was hope for him. He could be saved after all. I had to go to him, I had to save him, regardless of my involvement with the Prox novel. “Listen Thomas, I am going to be brutally honest with you. All I want is Ben back. He's out there, suffering because of what YOU did to him. I will go out there and clean up your damn mess. So tell me how I get him back and I will do it.” 

 

“Tomorrow morning, we’re sending a squadron of our best men to the facility that was discovered. We’re going to infiltrate their base and get a direct line into their computer systems, getting the files and info about the Eden Project, and rescuing Benjamin in the process. It should be a very easy in and out job, if we’re able to bypass most of the security systems.” Thomas explained.

 

I raised an eyebrow. “And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” I asked, with a tinge of sarcasm in my voice. 

 

Thomas looked over to Brock.

 

“No.” I said. I could have left the room at that point. 

 

“Dustin, he’s been in there before. He has access to all of the codes that we need to move about without being detected, this is a huge advantage for us; we’d be stupid not to take it while we can. Take a moment and think about it, Brock can get us everything that we need to get the upper hand on the F.E.C., not just information about the Eden project, but he’s been working on a virus to impregnate their systems with which will completely shut down all of those fucking visors they’ve been using, and also cripple their entire infrastructure. It’s a win, win situation.” Thomas smiled at me, trying his best to be as charismatic and convincing as possible. It wasn’t winning me over. 

 

I gestured toward Brock. “And you are okay with doing this? It’s dangerous. You are risking a lot here, putting all your faith and trust in ~that man.” I pointed toward Thomas for effort. “Saving Benjamin is one thing, but I don’t understand why you’re so damn willing to put your neck on the line for him! Brock, what if they catch you? You betrayed them; do you think that they will show you any mercy for what you have done? ” I shook my head, why were they not listening to me. “No. I won’t allow it. Brock you aren’t going. This is a suicide mission.”

 

He gave me a very wounded look and spoke softly. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. It’s all we have left, Dustin. It’s a risk I am willing to take.” Brock pleaded. I’ve seen the destruction and devastation that they’ve caused first hand, and this is why we’ve got to stop them. Right now, they don’t know about my absence, which means I can still get inside. There aren’t very many rebel bases left on Prox, they’ve destroyed everything, all the people, and the planet in their efforts, and they are growing stronger by the day. If we don’t stop them, then who will?” Brock laid his hand on my arm. “I know this isn’t our home, but if we can’t go back, then we have to make it ours and protect it, and everything that we love. I want to do this. You and I, Dustin we have a chance to do something great here. We could never do anything like this back home, let’s do this!”

 

His words stung my heart. He was right. We couldn’t go back. Not now. Crystal, or whoever she was had murdered both Brock and I in cold blood, but I couldn’t tell him that, he wouldn’t understand. I was given a second chance to make things right back then and I failed at it. I ruined it for both of us. It was all on my hands. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to change the world. It wasn’t like him to be like this, unless what had he seen in those laboratories at the F.E.C. filled him with guilt. This was the world that we were going to be forced to live in now, we had no other choice. I sighed, giving in. I knew this was a battle I wasn’t going to win and took a few steps away from the table. “Thomas, this had better work.” I warned. 

 

“It will, I assure you. I am giving you my word.” He said.

 

I glared at him. “Your word isn’t good enough for me, Thomas. You don’t have anything to lose in this mission.” I looked at Brock intently, then back to Thomas. “I do!” I gave him one last warning glance and then opened the door. I was done listening to him. Just as we went to step outside into the hallway, Thomas called back to us. “Brock, may I have a moment with you, in private?” he asked. There was a change in his voice; he seemed a bit quieter, a bit shyer. I looked at Brock who seemed a little apprehensive. I couldn’t tell if he was uncomfortable leaving me alone, or speaking to Thomas by himself. 

 

I wanted to stay with him, I needed to hear what Thomas would say, but I knew that it wasn't my place to intervene. Brock was an adult, he could handle it, I couldn’t be so controlling. I nodded to him, and quickly ran the back of my hand over his, giving him acknowledgment that it was okay. “Go, its fine. I am going back to my room. Meet me there when you are free.”

 

I made the long walk back to my room alone, without Brock, wondering what he and Thomas could possibly be discussing. I tried to tell myself that it had to do with logistics, technical requirements and things like that, but somehow I knew that wasn’t the case. I was feeling very uneasy and disappointed in myself; something wasn’t quite right about this whole rescue mission. I should have been anxious and eager to set out to bring Benjamin back from the hands of the F.E.C. but I wasn’t. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Thomas had ulterior motives behind his reasoning, and Brock and I were being manipulated into working with him. Lost in thought, I made my way back to my room and lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Was I just being ridiculous in my caution? Thomas was putting himself on the line by going out to rescue Benjamin to bring him home, why couldn’t I accept it? Was it just some elaborate ploy to gain my trust? I wasn’t buying it. I waited so long to have Ben back, why now was I dreading it? And also, with Ben back what would that mean for Brock and I?

 

The door opened and Brock stepped inside and made his way over to the computer without even acknowledging my presence, walking right past me. “Brock? Is everything okay?” I asked. 

 

Glancing over at me, he nodded but didn’t smile. “It’s fine.”

 

I walked over to the desk and leaned against it, watching him as he started working. “Usually when people say they are ‘fine’ it means that they aren’t, Brock. What’s on your mind?”

 

“I have a lot of work to do before tomorrow, Dustin. I need to be sure all these access codes are working, and plot our route through the F.E.C. base to avoid any confrontations. We don’t know what the Eden Project is, and going in blind like this doesn’t sit well with me. I want to make sure we have contingency plans in-case things get complicated, and work on the virus to deactivate the visors.”

 

I glanced over at him, as he worked. “Brock, do you really trust Thomas?”

 

Brock stayed silent, the only sound in the room was the noise from his fingers clattering across the keys, of the keyboard and then he sighed. “I am concerned with the liability that we will have when we find Benjamin. We don’t know what shape he’s going to be in, if he’s going to be able to make it out without assistance, so I am calculating an easier, faster route that can move us through the tunnels underneath their base to avoid detection, rather than relying on codes for doors that might not work.”

 

Moving closer to him, I shut the lid of his laptop, nearly catching his fingers, and cutting off his work. “That’s not what I asked you Brock.”

 

He looked up at me with those deep brown eyes and for a moment I thought I saw something there, a moment of fear, but it passed quickly and then he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and drew me close to him. “I trust Thomas. He’s trying very hard to make things right, to atone for what he has done. Dustin, how long did you carry the guilt inside of you for what you had done to me? Now take those feelings and amplify then a hundred times, once for every single person from the Messengers that died because of what he did. That’s what he is going through right now. He’s trying his best to make things right, for you, for me, for everyone. Lizzie wanted to give him a chance, so why can’t we too?”

 

“You didn’t see the look in his eyes when he ripped that visor off Ben’s face. There was nothing inside of him but a pure, unadulterated, animal rage. I don’t think I will ever forget it anytime soon.”

 

Standing up from the chair, Brock came to stand in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder. “No, I didn’t see that, but I did see the light in Lizzie’s eyes when she talked about how much she loved Thomas. She believed in that man, when he was at his worst. You have to start trusting people again Dustin, don’t shut them out, not everyone is a villain. Stop for a moment and ask yourself, what is stopping you from forgiving him, is it because of what he did to the Messengers and Lizzie, or is it because of what he had done to Ben? Which one of those options are preventing you from moving on?” He let go of me and grabbed his backpack and headed for the door. “I need a break. I am going out to pick up some coding manuals from the library… I think you need to take some time and deal with your feelings. It’s dangerous carrying that baggage out there on the mission tomorrow. Take care of it before it takes care of you Dustin.” Pulling his pack up onto his back, he left without another word, and I was alone again. 

 

I sat in the room wrestling with his words. He was right. I knew what it felt like to desperately want to be forgiven for something, and never being able to get it. I had caused him so much pain, given him every reason to hate me and yet, here we were. He was able to let go and move on, why couldn’t I do the same. A few moments passed and then there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Brock returning because he forgot something, I called for him that it was open. I heard the door slide on the hydraulic hinges and looked over to see Thomas standing in my room. “What do you want?” I asked in an unexpectedly gruff voice.

 

“If I could please have a moment of your time... I am asking you, not commanding you, as a real person, not as leader.. as a friend perhaps..please. If you don’t wish to speak to me, I will leave.”

 

I sat down on a chair across the room, while he stayed near to entrance and eyed him suspiciously. I wasn’t going to ever turn my back to him again. Brock’s words about me trying to forgive Thomas echoed in my ears, I had to at least try. “Okay. “

 

Flashing me a smile, he clasped his hands in front of him as he spoke. “I felt as though I had to come to you and tell you how I feel about Benjamin, because you need to know my thoughts on this matter before we go out there and put our lives in danger.”

 

“If you’re looking for forgiveness, you won’t find it here. I am not a priest, Thomas. I can’t absolve you of your sins. I think you knew exactly what you were doing when you did it.” I said in a mocking tone. My throat suddenly became very parched, I wished that there was some alcohol in the room, I needed a drink to take the edge off my sharp attitude. 

 

He pulled his shoulders back a bit, trying his best to keep his composure. “I am not asking you to, Dustin. I know that what I did was wrong. Even though I couldn’t control it, the guilt from ordering all those people to their deaths, and for what I had done to Lizzie are burdens that I will have to bear for the rest of my life, and I am prepared for that. Brock told me that she had … feelings… for me. I had absolutely no idea, how could I have known? Maybe things would have turned out differently, who knows?”

 

I shot an angry glance in his direction. “Who knows? Who knows? How can you be so inconsiderate about it? She DIED in my arms, Thomas. There had to be some part of you, deep inside that knew what you were doing was wrong. You could of fought it, stopped all of this from happening, but you didn’t. You just sat back and watched it all play out, hoping that you wouldn’t ever have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Well, you were wrong and now that you are yourself again, I am going to take it as a personal mission for myself to constantly remind you every single day about how you killed all those people.”

 

He looked at me with sadness on his face. I hit a nerve. “I believe that you and I are a lot more alike than you know. We are both passionate about the things that we love and would do anything that we can to protect them.” He started to slowly walk over to me as he spoke. “Dustin… I love Benjamin with all my heart and soul. I want him back so badly it’s all I can think about. From the very moment when I met him until now, I’ve been missing him so much. It’s like a part of my soul has been taken away from me and I can’t really begin to live again until I get it back. The Eden Project, whatever it is, means nothing to me. It’s all just a front that I am putting on to disguise the real reason for infiltrating the F.E.C. base. I have to get Benjamin back, no matter what the cost, and I need you to help me.”

 

I felt a little sick listening to his words. I knew that I had said and felt the same things before. “So you’re putting people in danger, good, innocent men from the Shallow Bay in order to rescue Benjamin? Is that your plan?” I asked, slowly rising from my chair. Thomas was a few feet away from me now. I wish he would back off; I didn’t like being that close to him. “I think you need to take responsibility for your actions and not drag others into it. This is your fight, Thomas. Quit being such a coward and hiding behind others.”

 

Thomas nodded. “If that’s what it has to come to, yes I know what I have to do, I also know you have had feelings for Benjamin in the past, but that doesn’t matter anymore. The way things have worked out, you have Brock now, and I’ve pretty much handed him to you. Now all you have to do is let me have Benjamin and we can both be happy, but I need you on my side.” 

 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I shook my head in disbelief. “Thomas, you can’t be fucking serious. That’s not how things work.”

 

The look in his eyes was a desperate one and his voice now started to waver as he spoke. His perfect confidence was starting to shatter. I knew that he could never be a leader, not like Ben. “Oh but I am! I thought about it and after we rescue Benjamin, all you have to do is tell him that you no longer have feelings for him, renounce your love for him, and show him how happy you and Brock are! You have a chance for a good life here. He will let you go if you release him.”

 

“If I told him that, he would be shattered.”

 

“Then let ME pick up the pieces and put them back together. I can make him whole again in ways that you couldn’t.” He begged. “I am his life here on Prox.”

 

Thomas voice rang through my ears. His words shot straight to my heart. My mind flashed back to that moment when he was on top of Ben, straddling his drugged and unconscious body, his mind being wiped clean by the F.E.C. visor. I stood there, a moment frozen in time as Thomas's cold, green eyes focused on me. “And by the way… he fucked me better than he did you, Bates!” His hand shot out and pulled on the corner of the visor, yanking it off and Ben was screaming. There was blood… so much blood. 

 

I snapped out of the memory and balled my hand into a tight fist. Before I knew it, I was flying across the room as fast as my feet could carry me and landing a well-placed blow onto Thomas’s jaw. He dropped down to the floor with a soft thud. I hit him with ten times the force that I had hit Dr. Browning with. “I don’t care what they say, you are still fucking insane! For Christ sake, listen to yourself. Ben’s not a toy that can be passed back and forth. He’s a person with feelings and emotions, most of which you are lacking. The visor didn’t mess with your head, it was already fucked up. Lizzie died believing in you, believing that you can be saved! She died for nothing! I don’t know how you convinced Brock to work with you, but you can be damn sure that I won’t let him be in danger.” I reached forward and grabbed his arm, dragging him to his feet and pushing him over toward the door. “Get out of my sight and pray that tomorrow goes smoothly, because if it doesn’t, I will see to it that you pay.”

 

Thomas struggled to his feet, wiping away the blood from a split lip and holding his bruised jaw in his hand. “Something’s going to happen tomorrow, and you’re going to be backed into a corner with no way out, Dustin. I can be on your side, I can be the one who saves you, all you have to do is give me what I am asking for, it’s such a little thing really? You made your choice, you can’t have them both. I NEED BENJAMIN. ”

 

“For fuck sake, listen to yourself! Brock said that you weren’t brainwashed anymore, but the things I am hearing from you right now, these are the same words you said to me just a few days ago, when your fucking monster was trying to rip my goddamn heart out.” I walked over and pushed the button to open the door. “Get out Thomas; this is the last time I am going to ask. If you stay in here any longer, I might do something to you that I will regret, and the rebels won't have a leader anymore.” The warning was all I could give him, I wanted to pick him up and do exactly to him what he did to Lizzie, but I refused to give into my anger. Stepping forward, I got toe to toe with him, an inch between our faces. He stood his ground, but only for a second, before nervously stepping back and accidentally bumped into the table near the door, knocking it over and falling clumsily to the floor. 

 

I turned away from him, which I knew was a great risk, but it gave him a moment to slip out with the little dignity that he had left. Now I knew what his plans were. The worst part is that I couldn’t go against them, or stop him, because in a way I wanted the same thing; we both wanted Ben back. I walked over to the window and drew back the curtains that kept the harsh, blinding rays of the Prox sunlight out and looked off to the horizon. I placed my fingertips on the cool UV coated glass and closed my eyes for a moment. Ben was out there somewhere, trapped in the darkness that he could never be free from. I wanted to be the one to bring him back home; I wanted to be the one that saved him. 

 

Early the next morning, I woke up to find Brock fully dressed in his tactical gear, sitting at the computer, the glow from the monitor illuminating his face. I sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “What time is it? Did you get any sleep?” I asked. 

 

“2 am…. I slept, a little. I have a lot on my mind I guess. We can’t risk anything going wrong. There is too much at stake here.” He didn’t bother looking up from the computer. I was starting to hate that. I picked up a tone of anxiousness in his voice and it made me really feel for him, there was so much riding on his shoulders. “We have to leave in an hour if we want the cover of darkness. I left a change of clothes for you in the bathroom, I know how much you hate wearing uniforms, but I think this is the one exception you have to make. We can’t be storming in there wearing formal attire and bow-ties.” He laughed.

 

I pulled myself out of the bed and walked over to him, coming to stop in front of the desk. He stopped brooding over the monitor and looked up at me, giving me a soft smile. “Brock, are we going to be okay out there? I’m worried about Thomas, I really am. Honestly, tell me… is he stable enough to be doing this?” I was almost tempted to tell him about Thomas’s outburst yesterday, but decided against it, there was no need to add more worry to the pot.

 

Brock moved the chair to the side and reached out for me, wrapping an arm around my torso and bringing me in close to him. The uniform he wore was rough and scratched against my bare skin. He looked up to me and smiled. There is was the beautiful Brock smile, the thing that kept me going. “Leave Thomas to me, I’ll keep an eye on him.” I thought for a moment, he was going to stand up and kiss me, but he didn’t and I was left a little disappointed. “You should go get changed now.”

 

I went into the bathroom and quickly changed, strapping on all the buckles and accessories that went along with the uniform. It was stiff and uncomfortable, but offered a lot of protection from the harsh elements of Prox and certain types of weapons, including the penetrating claws of the Carnivores. Brock closed his laptop and shoved it in his pack, and made his way over to me, glancing at the communication device on his wrist. “We need to go meet Thomas and the others, are you sure that you are up to this, Dustin? There’s no harm in backing out, I know this is going to be difficult for you.”

 

For a brief moment, I considered Brock’s offer; I was tired, exhausted and at the end of my rope emotionally. I needed sleep, I needed rest, but also I needed Benjamin. I had to be the one to bring him back; there was no way that I could trust Thomas to be alone with Brock. I pulled the door open. “Let’s go get Ben back.”

 

Thomas was waiting for us as we arrived at the vehicle depository. There was a small armored car waiting for us, heavily shielded and armed to the maximum. He glanced in my direction only for a moment, and I caught sight of the split lip that I had given him, along with the invisible bruised ego. “Are we ready to go?” he asked, already halfway around the vehicle and pulling himself into the driver’s seat, not waiting on an answer. 

 

Brock looked around, confused. “I thought we were taking a squad with us? Don’t we need cover for when we hack into the computer system?” he asked. 

 

Starting the car, Thomas revved the engine to life. “Change of plans. This is my responsibility. I am not putting any unnecessary lives in danger for this mission. We go in, get Benjamin and get out. Nothing complicated. If you want on this mission, get in the vehicle, if you don’t, then get back inside.”

 

“What about the Eden project, and the deactivation of the visors are we just going to abandon that?” Brock asked again, his attention focused and centered on Thomas. I could sense that there was some confusion and dissension between them now. Clearly Thomas had changed the plans without informing Brock, and he was not pleased. “You said it yourself, this is the one chance we have in shutting the operation down.”

 

Thomas shouted over the sound of the engine. “Screw the Eden Project and those brainwashing devices. Priority is Benjamin Burnley. If that bothers you, then you’re free to go run off and investigate it on your own when we get there, just don’t expect us to be waiting for you, when you come running back with a pack of Carnivores on your ass.” 

 

Brock and I exchanged glances and then we got in the vehicle; he was clearly worried about the unexpected change of plans, but kept silent about it. As soon as I slammed the door, Thomas put the car in drive and sped off, spewing rocks and dust up behind us. I looked in the rear view mirror and watched as the Shallow Bay became far and distant away from us with a bit of regret. There were three of us leaving the base; I was desperately praying that it would be four of us who returned. 

 

We spent hours in transit to our destination, moving through practically impenetrable landscape that was visually striking and yet deceptively dangerous. Thomas drove, while Brock navigated and I sat in the rear seat. No one spoke a word; everyone was lost in their own thoughts. The journey to the F.E.C. base seemed longer than anticipated, and soon I saw Brock bring out his laptop, switching it on with a concerned look. I had a feeling that something was wrong. I glanced over his shoulder to the screen on his lap and could see the thin blue outline of our path through the winding valleys of Prox. We had just entered a canyon when a warning beep came over the computer. Looking down, I started to panic. The monitor was displaying a squadron of Carnivores just up ahead. “Thomas, we’ve got to turn back, there are F.E.C. up just ahead. Stop and turn around. Now.” Brock shouted. I watched as the distance between us on the radar and the enemy slowly disappeared. Within a few seconds, they would spot us. “You’re going to run straight into them! Turn around.”

 

Glancing down at the radar, Thomas cursed and yanked the wheel, whipping it harshly to the right and spinning the tires in the sand, kicking up an incredible amount of dust and dirt behind us. He stepped on the accelerator and moved at a break neck speed, trying to get out of the enclosed canyon before the troops behind us could catch up. I watched in horror as the multiple red dots that signified the Carnivore patrols rapidly gained on us from behind. As we were nearing the exit to the canyon, Brock clicked on the map to enlarge it and his eyes widened with fright. There, blinking on the map were at least ten new red dots in front of us, waiting, and we were closing in on them fast. We were surrounded. It was a trap. There was no way in the canyon and no way out. I reached out and grabbed Thomas by the shoulder. “Did you do this?”

 

“No!” He yelled back at me, never tearing his eyes off the path in front of him. “I had no part in this! Brock is the one who set course through this area!”

 

I looked up to see the tiny black dots of the Carnivores armored vehicles on the horizon. We were gaining on them quickly. “Fuck! What are we going to do? Brock, can you disable them like you did before back at the Messenger’s base? Maybe buy us a few minutes of time…anything!”

 

Brock frowned. “If I had more time, yes. 3 minutes, that’s all I need.”

 

Thomas gripped the steering wheel tightly. They were only a couple hundred yards away from us now, he wasn’t slowing down, or listening to us. He was going to ram them. “Thomas this is madness, you’re going to get us killed, slow the fuck down!” 

 

Shaking his head, he glanced back at me, his face cold and emotionless. “Better than being caught by those monsters.”

 

We were almost right on top of them, when Brock reached out and lunged for the steering wheel. He managed to get hold for a second and pull on it, veering the vehicle off the course it was on and down a side path, before Thomas shoved an elbow into his midsection, momentarily knocking the breath out of his lungs and forcing him to let go. The sudden change in direction knocked me off balance and caused me to slide into one of the side doors, where I collided with a sickening thump. My ribs smashed into the metal door. I struggled to pull myself back up as Thomas gained control of the steering wheel again and stepped on the accelerator, aiming for the Carnivores. There was no time to react, we were going to hit. I watched in horror as there was a loud crash, filled with the screeching of tires that filled my ears. The force of the impact jarred the entire vehicle forward, shattering glass and twisting metal and everything went dark for a moment. I felt a heat on the side of my face and slowly opened my eyes to see bright orange flames shooting up from underneath the hood. I sat up, chunks of glass falling off my clothing, looking around, trying to get my eyes to focus. Thomas was slumped over the steering wheel, his arms at his side, unmoving. Brock was beside him, leaning back in his seat, a bit of blood smeared across the front of his face, wincing in pain. I called out to him. “Brock are you alright?”

 

“Ugh, I think so…. I just hit my head I think… I.. “ Before he could finish, there was an ear shattering squeal of metal being torn to shreds as a Carnivore came up to his door and ripped it off the hinges. I watched in horror as it tossed the useless, twisted metal down onto the ground and reached to grab Brock by the front of his jacket and yank him out of the vehicle. Brock’s laptop clattered to the ground as he was forced out and held tightly in the clutches of the animal. 

 

“No!” I shouted and tried to get my door open, but it wouldn’t budge; it was jammed shut. I threw my entire body weight against it and it still remained closed tightly, the metal joints fused together with the force of the impact. I twisted around and kicked at what was left of the window with my feet, sending shards of glass flying everywhere as it exploded from the force of my blows. I grabbed hold of the metal part of the window, plunging shards of cracked glass into the palms of my hands and pulled myself up and slipped outside. My jaw dropped open as I saw that we were surrounded in a sea of black, the Carnivores moving into position and closing in on us. The one that had hold of Brock was dragging him over to a containment vehicle by the throat, he was trying his best to fight, but the creature was too much, nearly three times his size. I ran over to him, sprinting as fast as I could to get away from the burning vehicle, my feet carrying me as fast as they could. I was dimly aware of the other Carnivores closing in, their weapons drawn and set on me, but I didn’t care. I had to get that thing off of him. I lunged forward, my hand landing on its shoulder and I yanked back with all my strength. It stopped and slowly turned around; I had gotten its attention. Still holding on to Brock by the throat with one hand, it tightened its grip, snarled at me and then threw its other arm back, hitting me with full force in the chest. I fell down to the rock and sand strewn ground, landing on my back, my body kicking up puffs of dried dirt as I hit with tremendous force. I looked up, my eyes momentarily blinded by the setting sun to see the Carnivore approaching me. Brock struggled against it, an insane look of panic on his face, accentuated by the dripping blood from his head wound and beads of sweat on his brow. Suddenly there was a commotion from behind, I heard yelling and suddenly a very loud boom. The road was now engulfed in a large fireball; our vehicle as well as the two that we had crashed into had exploded. 

 

“Oh god, Thomas!” Brock looked at me and we both knew, nothing could survive that. The Carnivore seemed to thrive on our misery and I cringed at what sounded like laughter escaped it’s throat. It stepped forward and placed a heavy foot on the center of my chest and started pressing down. My back sunk further down into the sand as he applied more pressure, the immense weight crushing my lungs. Brock wrapped his hands around the claw that was around his neck, trying to pull the unholy thing away, but his struggles were in vain. It pushed its foot down further and further onto my chest, forcing the air out and making it harder to breathe. Behind him, the vehicles burned with a white hot heat that scorched the earth around them in the rapidly setting sun. It was so surreal, I thought perhaps for a moment it could be a scene out of a movie. Gasping for breath, I started to slip into unconsciousness. I looked up one more time to the absent face of my captor and saw a man slowly walking up from behind. In my distorted, blurry vision, I could barely just make out a few of his features. He was tall, with broad shoulders and lithe arms, very well built, but still slender, walking with a casual, unhurried pace. From my vantage point, I couldn’t see his features, but he moved with practiced, trained, confident steps. He was wearing a black, military style uniform, similar to the ones that the Carnivores and Brock once wore, with the initials F.E.C. emblazoned across each of the arms. The sunlight concealed most of his face, but I could clearly see that he had a black military cadet hat on his head, covering up short cropped black hair and very pale, ashen like skin. My eyes met with his gray green ones for one brief second. Benjamin? No, it couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. Benjamin was being held captive in the F.E.C. base, he had been blinded, and there was no way he could be here.

 

The man approached me and gave a command to another Carnivore who pulled me to my feet and took both Brock and I to the back of the transport vehicle. With a shove, he threw us into the hot, humid darkness of the cargo hold and slammed the door shut. I was on my feet in a second, pulling myself up to the back of the door to look out the window as the truck’s engine started up. The fire was burning out of control now, and the canyon was filled with a sea of colors; orange and yellow from the fire, black from the Carnivores uniforms and a very faint purplish hue as the sun dipped down over the horizon. I didn’t take notice of any of it. My eyes were focused on the tall man dressed in black who was giving orders as he turned his back to me and started walking away. Could it possibly be? I gripped hold of the metal bars and shouted at the top of my lungs. “BENJAMIN! BEN!!” The man stopped and leisurely started turning around as the truck shifted into drive, lurching forward and knocking me off balance. I fell down to the metal floor and immediately rose to my feet, returning to the window. My eyes scanned the horizon for him, desperately looking for him in a sea of black. I saw him standing near the still burning wreckage of our vehicle, near the driver’s side looking down, his eyes fixed and set on something at his feet, it looked like the charred remains of a body. The truck we were in dropped into second gear and took us far out of sight. I watched the clouds of smoke slowly rising up from the canyon for as long as I could, before it became nothing more than a wisp in the distance. Something inside of me snapped and I broke down, collapsing on to the floor again and screaming, pounding my fists against the steel. “FUCK! FUCK FUCK BEN.. WHY... HOW COULD YOU DO THIS! MOTHER FUCKER!!” 

 

Brock came over and wrapped his arms around me as I started to sob, pulling me into a sitting position. I couldn’t even feel him. I was too numb. My tears mixed with the dirt, dust, sweat and blood and stung my eyes. I never cried as hard in my entire life as I did at that moment. Everything I believed in, all the faith and trust I had was now falling away from me, like ashes on the wind. I felt defeated and destroyed; a failure. Brock held me close to his chest; I could smell the scent of smoke and sweat lingering on his blood stained uniform. I thought about the moment when I held him in my arms as he was dying, that feeling of never wanting to let go was so intense, so desperate, that it took every bit of strength in my body to hold on to him. Now here he was, doing the same for me, only I wasn’t physically dying, I was emotionally dying. 

 

The trip to the F.E.C. base took hours. Brock did not say anything to me, but kept me in his arms until I managed to regain a little bit of myself. After a while I looked up to him, seeing those soft brown eyes filled with sorrow and sadness and I almost lost it again. He was grieving for me. I clutched onto his arm harder than I had ever done before and felt how strong he was. I knew he was going to be the thing that got me through this, I had to hang on… just catch my breath, regroup, and I could make it though. He was here for me. All I had to do was trust in him. Eventually the truck came to a halt and I heard commands being shouted. The back doors opened up and we were roughly pulled out and paraded through the base like some sort of game trophies. I kept my head down most of the time, not wanting to see their ghoulishly empty eyes. It was eerily quiet for the most part until we walked past the laboratories. When we passed by those doors, I happen to look up through the windows to see white coated men performing various nefarious surgical experiments on helpless humans strapped down to the cold metal stretchers. They sliced skin, and crushed bones without anesthesia in the name of science with the blessing of their leader. I trembled, knowing that I once was one of these poor unfortunate souls, but thankfully Brock had spared me the memory of any of this, by hacking into the visor and deleting the memories with a few simple keystrokes. I glanced over at him as we walked side by side and could see that he looked terrified, but was trying his best to hide it. Whatever the F.E.C. had in mind to do to me, it would be tenfold worse for him, because in their eyes, he was a traitor. He betrayed them to protect me, and now I couldn’t protect him. 

 

The holding cells were unlike the ones in the Messengers base. These were extremely hi-tech and state of the art. Each ‘room’ was a small, completely enclosed area, illuminated by a harsh, bright overhead LED light that never shut off, even at night. It simulated the most harsh, unrelenting midday sunlight that made the eyes swollen and painful to keep open. The walls and floor were made of some white ceramic material that could be heated or cooled depending on the punishment. A invisible barrier was the only thing keeping the prisoners inside their confinement cells, and I had a sickening feeling that judging from the voltage used to power it, anything that tried to cross the barrier would be instantly vaporized. The Carnivores escorted both Brock and I to separate cells, shoving us into the enclosed space with a hard thrust to the back with their weapons. After we were inside, they powered the cells up and left us alone. I sat down on the floor, and held my head in my hands. This was the second time that I had been locked away; only this time, Brock wouldn’t be able to come and save me. 

 

Across from one another, we both sat in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing Ben there in that canyon, stoic and intimidating as ever, barking commands at the Carnivores. I felt betrayed and abandoned. After all we had been through, how could he just turn his back on me and join with the enemy? Maybe this was his way of telling me that he no longer had feelings for me, maybe I didn’t need him anymore. I glanced over to Brock, who was pacing inside the cell, examining every single detail of the construction, trying to look for a way out. I knew that I wasn’t being fair to him with my insatiable obsession with Ben. I remembered the feelings I felt when I held him in my arms, and I knew that I never wanted to let him go again. I needed him to be in my life, as much as I needed to breathe, but I was afraid of the changes that he was going through here on Prox. The once beautiful, innocent person he was once was now becoming dark and twisted filled with ulterior motives and secrets. I couldn’t help but to think that I had something to do with this change, it was my fault he was here; he didn’t deserve to go through this. 

 

“Brock, can I ask you a question?” I asked quietly. 

 

He stopped his pacing and came to sit on the floor near the door to his cell, with his slender legs stretched out in front of him and his back leaning against the wall. The blood from the wound on his face had dried, leaving a dark smudge across his cheekbone and nose like some sort of macabre war paint. “Sure.”

 

I thought of a million different ways to form my question, every single one was tainted with doubt and spite; I didn’t want to upset him, I knew I had to handle the situation very gently. I didn’t want our time together filled with hate. “Did you take us into the ambush?” I lowered my voice and looked away from him; I couldn’t bear to look into those eyes while I was accusing him of something. “Thomas said that you chose the route that we were to take, did you know that the F.E.C. would be there?” 

 

“No.” he answered quickly, his voice firm and confident, then it dropped a bit as he went on. “It hurts me that you would even think that I would have a hand in planning something like that, Dustin. How do you even dare asking me that question! I thought that we were over this doubt, beyond this! I thought that we were…” he stopped speaking and fell silent. 

 

I wanted to take my words back, but I knew it was too late. I had already opened the door to something that I should not have, not here, not now. Still, even if these were our last moments, I had to know. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think that I didn’t trust you, Brock. Ever since Thomas kept you behind after our meeting yesterday, you’ve been acting strange, distant, and withdrawn and wouldn’t talk to me. I felt like I was being shut out.”

 

Sighing, Brock dropped his shoulders and shifted uncomfortably. “If you must know, I will tell you what we were talking about. Thomas… his head is full of jumbled thoughts and emotions. All traces of the F.E.C. initiative may be gone from his brain, but he’s left with fragments of feelings, from you, Ben and anyone else who has been forced to wear that fucking thing, and he’s struggling to sort it out. It’s like being trapped in a house of mirrors, everywhere he looks he sees his own face staring back at him, but the thoughts inside might not be his own, and it’s driving him mad. The only thing he has to hold onto are his memories of Benjamin, because that is where he felt safe, needed and loved.” Brock leaned his head back against the wall. “Dustin, Thomas is deeply in love with Benjamin. It’s not a passing thing, this is serious. I keep telling you that. He needs to be able to be free to love him and be loved in return, and until that can happen, Thomas is going to suffer. He’s never experienced longing or jealousy before and is having a hard time coping with it all. He kept me behind to ask permission to come to you and talk to you about Ben. I think he was looking for someone he could confide in, someone who could fully explain his feelings and reassure him that it was all going to be okay. He needed a friend.” He hesitated for a moment, before speaking again. “He still needs one…if he’s alive.”

 

“So, what I am supposed to do about it?” I asked. My heart already knew the answer. I wanted him to say it. I needed him to say the words. Just say it Brock, say it out loud.. Please… tell me what to do to make things right. 

 

“We both know what we saw out there in the canyon. Is that the person that you’re holding onto? He’s clearly made his choice, why can’t you? I think you know exactly what you need to do now; you need to let him go.” 

 

Brock’s words were nearly the same ones that Thomas spoke to me before we left. Hearing them spoken again was just killing me. I couldn’t bear the thought of Benjamin not being part of my life. Losing him wasn’t in the books. He was the reason I was here. I wanted to save him, bring him back home and make things right again. Seeing him in control of the Carnivores fueled the desire I had now to get him back. “I don’t know if I can do that.” I lowered my voice and whispered, too low for Brock to hear. “He needs me.”

 

Looking over to Brock, I could see that he had turned away slightly, traces of tears now forming in the corner of his eyes. Something inside of him finally broke. “Dustin you don’t need him! Have I not made my feelings toward you clear? I fucking love you, and I want to spend my life with you, not throw it away being something that you substitute for when Ben isn’t around. I need to spend the rest of my life with you; it’s all that I can think of, all that I’ve ever wanted. You keep telling me that you love me, leading me on, telling me that you feel the same things, but… it’s always been about Ben. You can’t stop thinking about him even when we are together. Do you know how much that hurts me to know that you put him before me? What makes his love for you any better than mine?” He paused a moment to take a breath. “These might be last few moments we spent together and the fact that we’re even having the conversation is unbelievable.” Looking out to the empty hall way, and the uncertainty beyond, he struggled to hold back his emotions. “I am not afraid of dying but I am afraid of losing you to him.”

 

“Brock… I can’t.. . I just can’t…” I whispered again, inaudible. “He needs me, he needs me.”

 

Wiping away his tears, he looked at me one more time, waiting for more words, but I couldn’t find them. “Never mind, Dustin.” He sighed and shook his head and then slowly stood up, his body obviously showing signs of exhaustion. “We will find a way out of here, rescue Benjamin and after that, I am done. I’ll get you back to the Shallow Bay but that’s the end of it. Everything that we’ve been through, it all ends here tonight. You’ve made your point very clear to me. I was a fool to think that we could be together. There’s no one else who can hurt like you hurt me and I keep letting happen. I deserve more than this. You call Thomas the sick, sadistic one, but I think you need to take a closer look at yourself. How does it feel knowing that you just killed me again?” Pulling off his shredded, singed jacket, he balled it up and threw it onto the floor. He made his way across the cell to the opposite corner and laid down, resting his head on it, and keeping his back toward me. 

 

“Brock, talk to me… please. Don’t leave me here like this.” I pleaded, but got no response. “Brock. I love you.” 

 

Moments passed. I kept my eyes on him as he lay there on the cold floor with his back towards me. I didn't expect him to say anything. Finally, he spoke, breaking the silence. “Then prove it.”

 

I lifted my head. “How?” I asked.

 

His body curled up tighter and he tried to relax. “You know how.” There were no more words from him, they were not needed. He was right; I knew exactly what I had to do. I just didn’t know if I was capable of it. Watching him made me feel tired and mentally exhausted. I leaned my back up against the wall and closed my eyes. Could I do the right thing when the time came? I felt as though this was going to be the end of a very important chapter in my life. I was the writer with the pen poised in my hand, ink dripping off the tip onto the paper. All I had to do was bring the pen down and write the final words. Everything depended on me. Which ending was the right one? How could I choose between Brock and Benjamin? Is this what everything was leading up to?

 

I pictured the moment in my head. We were on the beach, the skies were dark, it was right before a rain storm. My feet sank down into the sand as the cool water from the tide rolled in and soaked into my shoes. High above, overhead, a sea gull called out loudly, breaking the silence between us. There was no beautiful amber glow from the sunset, but rather a dim, gray overcast horizon that stretched on for miles. Our eyes met. He knew. My heart was breaking. He smiled at me. Oh god, how I loved those smiles, I wanted to drown in them. I reached out for his hand, one which I held so many times before and felt him trembling. How strange it was for him to be shaking. Nothing could of prepared him for this moment, I felt terrible for calling him here. I cleared my throat and spoke. “I think it’s time I let you go, and that’s so hard to do because part of me will always be in love with you for the rest of my life. But the day dreaming, the running in place, it’s not healthy. I can’t do that anymore. I am letting you go. I’ve made my choice.” He let go of my hand and turned away from me. For a moment, I doubted myself. I wanted to call to him, tell him I made a mistake, I changed my mind, but instead I remained silent. I had just completely crushed the man in front of me. That is how it had to be. Who was I speaking to? How could I possibly choose? A single tear ran down my cheek and I cried alone in my cell for hours before I finally fell asleep.

 

Feeling the sense of movement, I woke up sluggishly. I was cold, freezing cold. I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. I felt straps on my wrists and ankles. This was all too familiar. I was on a metal hospital gurney, only this time it wasn’t back in the past, it was in the frightening F.E.C. base. I was strapped down, with all my clothes removed, and a white sheet draped over me being wheeled down a narrow hallway by a Carnivore. I began to panic. I looked around desperately for Brock, he was nowhere to be seen. This couldn’t be happening. I struggled against the bonds, but it was useless, all I could do is lay there and wait. The creature wheeled me into a room that was filled from floor to ceiling with computers and monitoring devices. A sickening feeling overcame me. I had been here before, but I couldn’t remember when. This wasn’t a infirmary, it wasn’t a hospital room, it was a medical lab for testing, the place where it had all started. Thomas rescued me from here, so long ago and now I was right back where I started from. The Carnivore placed the gurney in the center of the room, and I could see the series of monitors stretching across one of the walls the name ‘D.Bates: patient 832532 EDEN PROJECT 002’ listed on each one. Oh my god… this can’t be happening. He engaged the brakes on the wheels and then checked the straps that held down my ankles and wrists for security and then left the room. The cold steel underneath my naked body was fiercely fridgid, and within a few minutes I was shaking, whether it be from the exposure to the cool room or my nerves, I couldn’t tell which. I considered shouting for help for a moment, but I knew it would be useless. There was no one here that could help me. I heard the melodic tone of a key card being scanned into the door, and then the lock snapped open. A man dressed in a white lab coat, carrying a bin full of medical equipment came in and glanced at the monitors, without even acknowledging my presence. “Please help me.” I begged. “You’ve got to get me out of here. They are going to kill me. I don’t belong here. Please.” He didn’t respond to me, but instead reached out and took my glasses off my face, giving me a gruff look. I tried my best to persuade him. “Look, I know what the F.E.C. does to all of you, I can help you, all you have to do is release me. I can show you were the Shallow Bay is. I can take you there! You can be free.” The man still didn’t respond, he only let out a sigh and pushed my head down onto the bed. “Fuck!” I shouted. Reaching into his bin, he pulled out a pair of clippers and leaned into my head and started shaving all my hair off. I could do nothing as the locks fell down off my head and onto my face, getting into my eyes and making them water profusely. After every single inch was shaved, he returned the clipper back into the bin and then started to lace up the leather strap that went around my forehead, snapping the metal buckle into place tightly, taking caution to be sure that I had absolutely no head movement at all. Satisfied that he had properly secured me down, he reached into his bin once again and then pulled out what looked like a pen with a needle attached and a small reservoir on top that held some sort of thick, black liquid. He grabbed the harsh, overhead light and angled it so that it was right in my face, I squinted against the bright luminescence, wishing that I could turn my head and look away. Bringing the ‘pen’ to the side of my head, just over my ear, he pushed a button and I could hear a dull buzzing sound. I immediately realized that I knew what it was, it was a tattoo gun. “Stop this!! Please!” I begged again, but it was still futile and a waste of energy. I closed my eyes and swallowed as the needles penetrated the layers of skin and the ink was injected deep into the flesh. Thankfully it was over in a few moments. I knew what he tattooed on my skin without even seeing. It was the number 832532 and a corresponding bar code. I would forever be a victim of the F.E.C., for how long forever would be, I didn’t know. 

 

I felt my heart pounding in my chest as the doctor wheeled over two IV stands, one for each of my arms and started to mark the path of the strongest veins. I looked up to see that the bags were filled with some sort of orange liquid that bubbled and swirled with color. Before I knew it, I felt the sharp, sudden sting of the hollow needle being forced into my arms one at a time. Finishing up his work, the doctor attached several adhesive electrodes onto my temples and on my chest. I could hear the beeping of the monitors start as the first bit of electronic information reached their servers. Tears ran down my face. I lost everything. I wanted to die. I didn’t want to be kept alive here, some sort of twisted lab rat for the F.E.C. to experiment on. Is this the way it’s got to be? Am I being punished for my indecision? “I am so sorry.” I whispered. I felt the medicine start to move through my veins and sighed. There was nothing left. 

 

The door opened again. A voice spoke, as a man entered and stood behind my gurney, just out of sight. “Is he ready yet?” Did I know that voice? It sounded familiar, a little odd, a little higher than what I was used to, but familiar. Why couldn’t I place it?

 

Nodding, the doctor grabbed his bin. “Yes Sir. He’s all prepped and ready.”

 

The man slowly made his way around the bed, to look up at the monitors on the far side of the wall. He was dressed simply, with a black cadet hat on, hiding his face, a black shirt with a F.E.C. patch on the upper right shoulder and a pair of black pants, topped off with black boots. His frame was well built, but slender and thin. He was focused on the monitors. This man I had seen before.

 

“Commander Burnley, what do you want me to do with the other one?” the doctor asked. 

 

My heart stopped. It was Ben! He turned around and his eyes met mine, they were the same beautiful grey-green that I had gazed into so many times. I’d know that face anywhere. No. I was wrong. This man, the one that I had seen out in the canyon, the one who had control of the Carnivores, wasn’t Benjamin Burnley, it couldn’t be, but he looked almost exactly like him. He was much younger, in his mid-20’s, and with a slightly smaller frame. He turned to the doctor. “I have no use for him. Execute him.” He said without emotion. It sounded like Ben’s voice, but with a slightly different tone, a different person perhaps? What was going on?

 

“Sir, begging your pardon, but he’s quite intelligent, we might be able to extract some information from him regarding the computer systems and...” His words were cut short by the man grabbing him by the front of the shirt. “I have given you an order. Follow it. I am not fucking around with those pathetic visors anymore, they are useless toys, and we’re over that.” He glared at the doctor. “You are supposed to follow my orders without question. I should snap your miserable spine right here and now for even doubting my command. Now, go and do as you are told before I order your execution next.” He let the doctor go, who scurried out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him. 

 

I tried to look up to the man standing near the foot of my bed. The person I feared most in the world, the leader of the Carnivores. Who was he? He reached down and grabbed the white sheet that was covering my naked body and yanked it off, leaving me exposed. He reached out and touched his icy cold fingers to my ankles and then started to move them up my shin, over my knees, and twisting his wrist, deep down into the inside of my thigh, feeling every inch of my skin. I couldn’t control my body, it was trembling and shivering now, I stretched against the leather straps as much as I could. I needed to see who this was. He moved forward and for the first time I could get a good look at him. I stared, confused. “Who are you?” I asked, feeling my stomach churn and bile rise in my throat. “Ben?” It had to be him, it had to be…but the age; this person was so much younger, and yet…he looked exactly like Ben, but Ben was injured, blinded. 

 

He walked across the room to a cabinet and withdrew a small vial, marked with the word ‘EDEN’ on it. He held it up to the light and examined it for a moment, then pulled some of the drug into the needle, returning to me with it and came back over, without out so much as a single sound. He was completely silent and terrifying. 

 

As the liquid swirled around in the syringe, I realized that I was right; I had seen those eyes before, but they weren’t Ben’s grey-green eyes after all. I was wrong. They were marbled by spots of amber color in the irises that seemed to catch the dim light and reflect it back brilliantly. This wasn’t Ben. I was looking into the eyes of his grown up son. He was an adult now, a perfect copy image of his great father. This was the little boy I had seen on the beach during my dream, the little boy from the past who Ben held in his arms so proudly. How could he possibly be here? “Please don’t do this.” I whispered. Part of me knew that he couldn’t be stopped. This was not Benjamin, this was a stranger I did not know, and it was pointless trying to beg for my life. I wanted to go back to that moment in time when I saw the little boy running down to his father on the beach and change things. I wished I hadn’t simply turned my back away from both of them and walked away. I should have stayed… the little boy said something to Ben as I walked away, what did he say?

 

Leaning forward, he slipped the needle into the plastic tubing of my IV and pushed the plunger, injecting me with the drug, his eyes set on me, cold and uncaring. I screamed. As the amber liquid traveled through the line, he brought his lips down to my ear and whispered to me. “Suffer slowly.” With those final words, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, and my eyes started to go blurry. Standing before me was the true Shepherd of the Damned, Benjamin Burnley's son, and I welcomed him with open arms.

 

I felt nothing, anymore.


End file.
